15 August – (Im)patience…

I’ve just realised that as much as I’m obsessing about this whole egg donor/surrogacy thing I can’t get moving on anything until I’ve stopped nursing anyway.  Argh!!  I’m *not* the most patient of souls by any stretch of the imagination so this frustrates me beyond belief. 

I absolutely love nursing my little boy (he’s 14 months old by the way) and will miss it terribly once I give it up, but I’ve realised that nursing really does interfere with my life. 

While nursing:

1. I can’t drink alcohol (!!!)

2. I can’t donate blood

3. I can’t donate eggs / be a surrogate or even really kickstart these procedures

4. I can’t take birth control (eep!)

5. I can’t have caffeine (coffee, tea OR Coke)

I’m sure there’s a lot more but I can’t think of anything else right now.  In the early days I couldn’t eat any (and I do mean ANY) dairy products but luckily those days have passed and I can stuff myself with chocolate without paying for it for the next 24 hours.  (*Disclaimer: this list in no way detracts from the joy and satisfaction I get from nursing. 🙂 )

Ironically, realising that I can’t do anything about my new ‘venture’ for a while anyway has made me realise that I’m ready to get started and I want to do it NOW.  Oh the joys of having a safety net…(and an iron cast excuse!)  In the meantime I’ll carry on with my research, and see how I feel once I’ve weaned my little guy (should be pretty soon anyhow I’d think.  I weaned my daughter at 14 months, maternal guilt probably won’t let me breastfeed him for too much longer than I did her!)

If you’re interested in even more rambling at the moment I’m thinking that once my breastfeeding stint is over I’ll go the egg donation route first.

I really, really want to be a surrogate mom one day, but I’m not sure I’m entirely ready to go that route yet… if I cope ok as an egg donor then I think after that I might just be brave enough to do a surrogacy.  Does that make any sense at all?

Also, when I first considered egg donation the fact that I was giving up my own genetic material really bothered me.  It helped some when I heard the whole thing about how when your neighbour is baking a cake and asks to borrow an egg it doesn’t suddenly make it your cake…but it still just, bothered me.

After reading so many blogs of infertile women and really putting myself in their shoes it dawned on me to look at it from their perspective: (big epiphany here, lol, are you ready?!!?)

If I was told that I could sustain a pregnancy, but didn’t produce any viable eggs, I would definitely want an egg donor.  Once those embies were implanted within me I honestly don’t believe that I would for a second doubt that baby was completely mine.  If my body grew the baby, sustained the pregnancy, birthed the baby and breastfed the baby then trust me – that baby is MINE and no-one elses.  No matter where the egg came from!

So yes, I’m now desperate to cultivate these eggies and help someone get the family they’ve always wanted.  But only once I’ve completed my own (breastfeeding) journey with my son – in my own good time.  Argh.  Baby steps.  Patience may be a virtue but it’s NEVER been one of mine!

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3 Responses to “15 August – (Im)patience…”

  1. phdinparenting Says:

    Is there a reason why you can’t do any of those things while breastfeeding?

    I know some moms have babies with extra sensitive tummies or have troubles with milk supply and therefore need to be careful about things, but in the normal course of things moms can drink alcohol in moderation, drink caffeine in moderation, and take the mini pill. I don’t know about blood or egg donation, but the others are usually okay.

    Anyways, I only mention it because I don’t think that breastfeeding needs to be a time when we “give up” too many things. I am committed to child-led weaning, but don’t know if I could do it if it meant that I had to give up all of those things.

    Here are some resources:
    http://www.kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/caffeine.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/alcohol.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/birthcontrol.html

  2. eggorchicken Says:

    Hi, thanks for your comment 🙂
    My list wasn’t meant to be a list of complaints, lol, just mentioning the things that I have to work around! It’s totally worth it!!! I must say I have had the odd tipple here and there but obviously very rarely, and I try to time it as far away from breastfeeds as possible. Caffeine I absolutely can’t have – it wakes my baby up sooo much it’s ridiculous. One can of Coke and he’s honestly up the whole night! I know they won’t take my blood or eggs while I’m b/f! The mini-pill I can take but choose not to as my doctor said I can’t count on it working 100% unless I’m still breastfeeding round the clock (ie when your baby is still tiny) – my baby is 14 months old so we’re down to only 2/3 feeds per day now, so I’ll just wait until I’ve weaned him and go onto normal birth control.

    You are right about a lot of things – they are choices (like me choosing not to have caffeine or go on the mini-pill for my own reasons!) and not enforced!!! Thanks for the comment 😀

    x

  3. monica lemoine Says:

    Numbers 1 and 5 are the worst! Ouch! 2 thru 4 I can handle, but KuKd Momma needs her whiskey-spiked coffee!

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