Archive for September, 2008

29 September – Question for other Gestational Surrogates…

September 29, 2008

So the clinic that I would really like to go with has contacted me after filling in the application form and they seem happy with everything so far – of course it’ll take a while to get all the in depth checks done but on the surface everything looks good so far.

They’ve asked me if I would consider travelling to a particular clinic to have the procedure done (about a 2 hours flight from where I stay).  At first I was not entirely keen as I’ve never left my kids before and the thought stresses me out – but on reflection it is probably a good idea to get away.  After the transfer I could then also go straight back to the hotel and literally just stay on bedrest for at least a night to maximise the chances of the embies taking – does my logic make sense so far?

I have emailed her back with some of my questions but in the meantime – for those of you that travelled for the transfar, can you give me a rough idea of how often you had to go?  Did you initially just get sent instructions and meds and have all your initial consults in your hometown, and then only travel for the actual transfer?  Or did you have to travel often?  Also roughly how long were you away for?

If it entailed me going on one 3/4 day trip I honestly don’t think there’d be an issue, however if I was going often it would obviously be a lot harder to arrange everything!

If I’m prepared to travel then they are confident that they might be able to match me quite soon – exciting days!!!

Would love some comments, opinions or advice please 🙂

28 September – The verdict is IN!

September 28, 2008

He said YES, he said, YES! Holy crap HE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And in case you’ve only just started reading my blog – I asked my dear husband to think over the possibility of me becoming a surrogate mother and he has *finally* answered. And yup, I have to say it again…just for the thrill of it – HE SAID YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

I’m so, so, so excited. I know it’s just one more hurdle (and there are a whole lot more to come!) but it is certainly a significant step forward!

*I have ‘passed’ the initial screening/application
*I have wrapped my own head around the enormity of what i’m about to undertake
*I have my dh’s full support

Now I need to fill in the full application, go for a medical screening, go for a psychological screening, meet IP’s (intended parents). Once I’ve found a couple that I want to work with (and that wants to work with me!) we need to go through all the legalities, make a million and one choices…and never mind all the injections, scans (dildo-cams, ARGH!) etc. Yup, it’s a loong road ahead but what an exciting one. I honestly cannot WAIT to get on it.

I just hope I manage to pass all the other screening tests. My dh reckons I should try to get a ‘surrogate’ to stand in for me at the psychological screening. Grrr…;)

I’m literally bouncing here, I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!

22 September – Oh for Pete’s sake!

September 22, 2008

ARGH! Someone hand me a gun!!

So if you’ve been following this blog you know I’ve been doing the verbal equivalent of sitting on my hands to stop myself from nagging my dh for an answer about being a Surrogate.  Yesterday we were having a conversation where I felt I could bring it into the conversation and it went something like this:

Me: Love, I’m NOT asking for an answer here, I was just wondering how you’re coming along in thinking about the whole surrogacy thing?

Dh: Oh. Erm. That? I actually haven’t thought about it.

Me: WHAT??

faint

Dh: Well. You just never brought it up again so I figured you’d moved on.

cross

Seriously. He just. Didn’t. Think about it. After I was so, so, so abundantly clear that this is something I desperately want to do. After I *told* him I wouldn’t be bringing it up again because I didn’t want him to be hen-picked into a decision. I *told* him I would wait for him to bring it up.

Sigh.

Do you ever get the feeling that men just don’t ‘get’ us. Or did he just not listen?

Anyhow, so we have now chatted again, and I have told him I *will* keep nagging him and reminding him to think about it, so hopefully we’ll get somewhere.

I can’t believe that by being so patient I just lost a whole 3 weeks. But anyhow, I will let it go – at least now I know so we can move forward.

!!!

21 September – Nothing to report yet, but a quick question!

September 21, 2008

So dh STILL hasn’t said anything more to me about the whole surrogacy thing.  We do both keep dropping the possibility in conversation though so I presume that means the idea is still floating around there somewhere.  Here’s hoping it anchors itself fairly soon, I’m itching to get this off the ground now!! 😉

For those of you that have done IVF’s or Surrogacies – roughly how often can I expect to be going to a FS?  (daily, weekly, thrice-weekly etc)  I know it’ll be hard to predict exactly but I don’t have the faintest idea, so any comments/guidelines would be appreciated.  Other than daycare (my son goes 3 times per week from 8-12) I don’t really have too many other opportunities to have him babysat – my mom works, and MIL although a very keen babysitter is also a jetsetter and therefore not often available. 🙂

Is it reasonable to assume that I’d be able to fit most of my appointments within my son’s schooling hours?  Otherwise that could really be a spanner in the works considering his hours of schooling will only be extended (to 5 days per week, still only 4 hours per day though) in about 18 months time!!

I would almost certainly be able to find people to help out for the odd appointment here and there, but really don’t want to put people out too much!

Please comment if you can, I’d really appreciate the help, ta!

7 September – The Waiting Game..

September 7, 2008

So, I still haven’t heard anything from my dear husband since our Big Chat.  And to my credit I haven’t even asked him anything about it – I’m pretty proud of myself because even though it’s only been 5 days or so it feels like WEEK have passed and I spend a good part of the day doing the verbal equivalent of sitting on my hands, to stop myself from asking him, all because I swore to myself that I would not nag or sway his decision in any way.  So, yah…5 days on and so far so good.

I was very excited because yesterday he asked me a question about losing pregnancy weight without breastfeeding to help, so it’s obviously still on still on his mind, yayness 😉  Keep those good thoughts coming…!

Other than that I’m afraid I really don’t have anything to report!  I had a fabulous week-end, yesterday my dh and I went out for lunch with the IL’s.  We left the kids with my folks and it was really nice – it’s the first time we’ve seen the IL’s without the kids since my daughter was born 3.5 years ago!  It was quite bizarre to actually be able to sit and chat, without constantly being interrupted, lol.  TOday dh took the kids for a few hours while my mom, sister and I went to watch Mamma Mia.  Wow, I LOVED it!  It is a complete chick flick but load of fun! I’m a one of those very uncool-self-confessed-ABBA-addicts, and have always been, even when it was completely unfashionable, so I’m pretty happy with this turn of events, lol.

Keep those good thoughts coming… 🙂

x

2 September – SO we had the big chat!

September 2, 2008

Apologies for my premenstrual post from last week, lol.  I still feel I had some cause to be disgruntled but in all fairness I hadn’t really talked it through with the poor man and he didn’t even know how desperately I want this.  AND I was seriously PMS’ing (cycles have only just started again since Jamie was born 14 months ago, so yah, bit or a shock to the system!).  So, riggggggggggght.  Moving along swiftly 😉

So I’ve still been eating, sleeping, dreaming (reading) surrogacy every day, and I’ve really decided (over and over) that I WANT this.  I think I’ve thought through just about every scenario from what if I need to be hospitalised for a D&C to what if I want to go on an overseas holiday whilst carrying someone elses baby.  And *I* can make peace with everything.

Had a really good moment with dh this evening (it was quiet, the kids were in bed, we were just chatting and giggling – RELAXED) and I opened up to him about how badly I want to do this.  I told him that I’ve thought about this, I’ve researched it and I really want to go ahead, but that I also need him to fully support me.  I asked him to take whatever time he needs to research it himself and get his own questions answered, and then let me know how he feels, and whether he thinks he could get his head around it.  If he’s not totally on board with me then I will drop it.  We chatted a bit about the various risks and possibilities – he seemed a bit taken aback, I definitely don’t think he had realised quite how serious I was – yet he was not at all negative.  He didn’t give too much away besides finding it hilarious that I’ll need to see a shrink (to get into the surrogacy program) – LOL.  Clearly he sees a psychological evaluation as a potential stumbling block for me!

But yah, I’m feeling really happy that it’s out there and at least for now we’re on the same page.  I feel like we’ve connected in a whole new way and if he really isn’t keen I will NOT try to convince him, I will accept it (probably enrol in an egg donor program) and who knows, maybe one day he’ll change his mind.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much but I really have a good feeling about this and am really excited.  This could really happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please hold thumbs and think of us! 🙂