2 September – SO we had the big chat!

Apologies for my premenstrual post from last week, lol.  I still feel I had some cause to be disgruntled but in all fairness I hadn’t really talked it through with the poor man and he didn’t even know how desperately I want this.  AND I was seriously PMS’ing (cycles have only just started again since Jamie was born 14 months ago, so yah, bit or a shock to the system!).  So, riggggggggggght.  Moving along swiftly 😉

So I’ve still been eating, sleeping, dreaming (reading) surrogacy every day, and I’ve really decided (over and over) that I WANT this.  I think I’ve thought through just about every scenario from what if I need to be hospitalised for a D&C to what if I want to go on an overseas holiday whilst carrying someone elses baby.  And *I* can make peace with everything.

Had a really good moment with dh this evening (it was quiet, the kids were in bed, we were just chatting and giggling – RELAXED) and I opened up to him about how badly I want to do this.  I told him that I’ve thought about this, I’ve researched it and I really want to go ahead, but that I also need him to fully support me.  I asked him to take whatever time he needs to research it himself and get his own questions answered, and then let me know how he feels, and whether he thinks he could get his head around it.  If he’s not totally on board with me then I will drop it.  We chatted a bit about the various risks and possibilities – he seemed a bit taken aback, I definitely don’t think he had realised quite how serious I was – yet he was not at all negative.  He didn’t give too much away besides finding it hilarious that I’ll need to see a shrink (to get into the surrogacy program) – LOL.  Clearly he sees a psychological evaluation as a potential stumbling block for me!

But yah, I’m feeling really happy that it’s out there and at least for now we’re on the same page.  I feel like we’ve connected in a whole new way and if he really isn’t keen I will NOT try to convince him, I will accept it (probably enrol in an egg donor program) and who knows, maybe one day he’ll change his mind.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much but I really have a good feeling about this and am really excited.  This could really happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please hold thumbs and think of us! 🙂


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7 Responses to “2 September – SO we had the big chat!”

  1. Monica Says:

    Yay for the chat. What’s “holding thumbs?” Seriously, I’m clueless to so many thing. I mean, I get what holding thumbs physically would entail. Does it mean like, keep your fingers crossed?

  2. eggorchicken Says:

    Oh LOL, yep.
    Is that not a ‘normal’ turn of phrase?
    My family always say it!
    Maybe it’s a South African thing?
    Or a German one 🙂

  3. Shell Says:

    Glad that DH is more open to you being a surrogate! It is such a big decision!! Good Luck!


  4. keystoclaritycoach Says:

    I’ll be holding thumbs for you too! (me South African /Brit) Its so exciting that you’re so excited about doing something so huge for someone else.

    fingers & thumbs,
    Coach Louise Crooks

  5. robynanne Says:

    You know, I never brought it up with my husband until I had the forms from the agency that he had to sign. I just gave them to him and told him to sign them and he asked what they were. My husband knows though – I am way too independent to think that I can’t control my body myself with stuff like this. Goodness, he was gone on army training when I bought us our first house. The look on the car salesman face when I said I wanted to buy a car a few years back and he asked if I didn’t want to talk it over with my husband and I said no way, it’s MY car. Anyway, my hubby loves telling people that his wife got knocked up by two gay guys so it wasn’t an issue.

    I’m glad the communication is going well for you two! I hope it all works out.

  6. Shaz Says:

    Great news about the chat. Here’s hoping he finds all the answers to the questions he may have.

  7. Kirsty Weaver Says:

    What you want to do is such an incredibl thing!! My best friend from Uni days had her baby via a surrogate last year, as she has a heart condition and couldn’t sustain a pregnancy!
    It is something I would do in a heart beat…. but my gynae says no more births for me! I hvae no problms with pregnancies, sailed through all 3 of mine, but I failed miserably at childbirth!! 1st birth = emergncy c section after 5 attempts at vacuum and 2 forceps (all this on n o pain relif, as sailed thriugh contractions) This trauma resulted in a very sick baby, who thankfully made a full recovery. However, due to that – no more natural births, therefore I have had 3 c sections and the docs say: too high risk – no more|!!
    So – shop is closed!! I will donate my eggs though!!!!

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