4 February – Please can I just scream now??!

Now may or may not be the right time to bring up the fact that generally I am ‘that’ girl that always tries to see the positive in everything, that sees the glass as half-full, that tries not to moan and complain.  Generally I am optimistic to a fault.

But today.  Today I want to SCREAM, today has been a long, frustrating horrid day, that’s just left a bad taste in my mouth.

First some background – my husband is away on the UK on business (we’re in South Africa), so my mom was staying with me and the kids, while my sister stayed home with my diabetic dad. Any without further ado, I give you a rundown of last night and my day so far…

11pm – Go to bed

11.10 – Jamie wakes up and cries, I put him in bed with me

11.10 onwards – Jamie kicks, thrashes, moans, wriggles, falls out the bed and punches me in the face repeatedly

5am – phone rings and we get told my dad has had a very ‘unusual’ seizure and is in ICU

5.05 – cranky, overtired kids nagging for breakfast and arguing that they don’t want to go to school ‘ever. again.’

5.30 realise Jamie (19 month old) is covered in horrendous rash, no idea what it might be from.

6.00 phone my sister-in-law that’s visiting from UK to cancel on my babysitting duties for the morning in case Jamie’s rash is contagious (she understood completely but you have no idea how much I *hate* letting people down!)

7.30 get Caeli to school

8.00 Go to doc for blood draw (my thyroid) and get a 10.45 slot for Jamie (rash)

8.10 – 10.20 wander around the house like a Zombie trying to keep James entertained while waiting for his doc app to roll around.

10.45 doc doesn’t know what rash is but definitely NOT contagious, yipeee.  Probably insect / allergy related. Go to pharmacy to collect anti-histamines etc

12.30 fetch Caeli

1.00 make plans to see my dad in hospital.  All the co-ordinating causes kids to miss their naps – will pay for that later!

3.00 sister in law arrives with her 2 kids, I leave to go to the hospital. Race down, collect mum, visit and crawl back through rushhour traffic

4.00 come home to two over-tired, tantruming, screaming monster children (in fairness they were dead quiet when I arrived home, all the nastiness started about 2 minutes after I arrived – go figure!)

5.00 still dealing with the tantruming, screaming, nastiness

5.30 bathing with the tantruming…etc

6.00 feeding with the tantruming…etc

6.30 Dh phones from London to say he’s missed his Heathrow -> Johannesburg connection, on standby for next flight with 33 other people. Tomorrow’s flights also full, so more standby.  *sigh*  Who knows when he’ll actually get home.

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

And the worst, worst thing of all, is baby Declan.  (http://www.all-hands-on-dec.co.za) I started reading a website a few months ago, when baby Declan was just a couple of weeks old.  He was born with a tumour (malignant) behind his eye and has been fighting every single day of his life to beat this monster.  He was right there, right at the finish line – these last few weeks we was so convinced that he had it beat…bloods have just shown that the cancer has spread everywhere.  He is 6 months old, and has been given at most a month to live.  I am devastated.  Absolutely devastated.  I cannot understand why this little person had to go through so, so much – only to be beaten anyway.  It’s the most tragic story and it has just destroyed me.  I keep just thinking if I’m feeling like this, what on earth are his family going through1???!?!  It’s just so incredible unfair. Please, if you have anything left inside of you please pray for this gorgeous baby boy and his incredibly strong, wonderful family.  They’re going to need you so much in the coming weeks.  And of course, we can always hope for a miracle.

I know I have a lot to be thankful for.  I know I have many blessings and I know that for me things could be worse.  Most of these things have just sort of happened ‘around’ me and other people are dealing with far more fallout than me.  But it’s been a lot for one day.  I really am grateful for so much.  But Lord please let me have a better day tomorrow – coz I don’t know if I can face another one like today just yet.

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2 Responses to “4 February – Please can I just scream now??!”

  1. suzannegrove Says:

    Hi Yvy. Any news on your dad? I’m praying for your family. Hope today was better than yesterday!

  2. monica lemoine Says:

    Yikes – sounds frustrating and scream-worthy.

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