5 January 2010 – Apologies!!

Okay I have to admit it – I’ve been a terrible blogger.  Sis on me!

I must apologise for my extended silence on the whole surrogacy issue.  I am still so keen to go ahead with it, although I must say the longer it’s taken me to get going the more doubts have crept into me head.  I’m terrified for all the meds & injections, and keep wondering whether it’s fair on my kids to go through it all.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t have any qualms about them ‘going through’ the surrogacy journey with me (ie experiencing mommy being pregnant without a baby at the end), I know that they will deal with that and be fine.  What worries is me is that there are potential complications to even the easiest of pregnancies – and I just can’t foresee what might happen.  What if I get put on 10 weeks of bedrest? etc etc.

Suffice to say it is a huge commitement and as much as part of me longs to do it, I am still grappling with it.

I keep thinking that if it was for someone that I knew already, then all these doubts would just disappear.  If my sister, or cousin or friend asked me to do this for them I would agree in a heartbeat.  But to take all these hypothetical scenarios, when I don’t even know how/when/by whom I might get picked…it really just makes it all the harder.

Anyway, for now I’m on an enforced ‘cool down’ period anyway.  My dear hubby is feeling the effects of sleep deprivation quite dearly because my dear son (2.5 years) is still such a shocking sleeper.  Hubby declared that he cannot deal with a non-sleeping toddler as well as  a pregnant wife, so we will look at it once the little one starts sleeping a bit better.

Hopefully that’ll happen one of these days… 🙂 🙂

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2 Responses to “5 January 2010 – Apologies!!”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Hey! Look who’s back! We missed you!!!
    I totally get what you’re saying about your reservations Yvonne and I’m sure the more time you have to think about it, the more reservations you’ll have. At the end of the day, when the time comes, you’ll know what is the right choice for you.
    All the best!

  2. Abs Says:

    Hi Yvonne, My dear friend Shaz told me about your blog and I’m so glad she did! It brings so much peace of mind to me as a future IM to read about things from your perspective and to know that IM’s and Surro’s have the same fears in their hearts. Your words “I keep thinking that if it was for someone that I knew already, then all these doubts would just disappear” really struck a cord with me. I feel exactly the same way being an IM and not knowing who, when or where I will find that special surro mom to be my partner on this incredible journey. It’s not the idea of going the surrogacy route that scares me, it’s the idea of going into this with someone who will be a stranger to me as we start this life changing experience together. It’s damn scary and you are 100% entitled to feel that way! You are truly an amazing woman to want to do this for someone else. I truly hope that you will find very special IP’s and that you will become the very best of friends through your amazing gift to them!

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